This was posted on the It’s OK to be Takei Facebook page today. I was unable to find the original, and no link was given, so I am unable to vouch as to its authenticity, but it’s not that hard to picture this happening – even today.
“On September 23, 1995, my
husband was severely injured in an accident by a drunk driver. I was notified and rush to the emergency room immediately. I arrived at the hospital and asked where he was. I was told where he was, but was told I couldn’t see him at that time. Being the stubborn, defiant person that I was, I snuck into the back to find him myself. I heard him screaming in pain and telling the staff that he wanted me to be there. I followed the screams to the room he was being treated and was blocked by hospital security. I was told that there was no way I would be allowed to enter the room because I wasn’t a family member. I tried to explain that he was my husband. They LAUGHED at me!!!
You see, I was his HUSBAND also. It was explained (rather rudely) to me that men can’t marry men and that I had absolutely no standing to be anywhere near him. I produced papers stating that I was also his power of attorney and had the right to make medical decisions for him. The paperwork was drawn up at his lawyer’s office in Seattle, Washington and we lived at the time in North Carolina. I was also told that the paperwork was invalid because it wasn’t recognized in NC. The hospital would allow boyfriends and girlfriend to see each other, but not boyfriends and boyfriends. When I told them that he had NO family in NC, I was told, “It’s not our fault he lives so far from family.” This argument went round and round for about 30 minutes.
I want people to know about my husband. He was small in stature, only five feet tall and weighing at 104 lbs. He loved classic TV shows (I Love Lucy, Bewitched, and I Dream of Jeanie.) He was Felix to my Oscar. He worked a full time job, but still found time to make sure dinner was cooking when I got home from work. He was an adventurer who loved to try new things. He was, and still is, the love of my life. I could fill up 100 pages of things people should know about him.
Back to the point…my husband died, alone, crying, only wanting the person he loved to hold his hand. I died a little inside also, because I was denied to give him the only thing he wanted at the last moments of his life. What makes matters worse is that in the five years we were together, we’d only had one major argument. September 23rd was our second. The last thing I said to him in anger before he left the house was, “F*** YOU!” I can NEVER take back those words. That is the last thing he heard from my lips before he died. If I had been able to see him, just for a moment, the last thing he would have heard from me is, “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!”
The laws of this nation MUST change to allow same sex couples (legally married or not) the same, equal rights at opposite sex couples. Please contact your local law makers and ask them to change the laws giving equal rights to all! If even one person reads this and has an emotional breakthrough concerning their ideals of gay couples, this letter will not be in vain!
Thank you for reading this:
A Concerned Gay Husband”